• Kayla Ibarra

NICU: How our journey began

Updated: Jul 16, 2019

Its important to start off when life was “normal” (our normal anyway) married to my husband for 3 years (together 10) with a 1 year old son. My husband and I decided to try for our second baby to

complete our family. I still remember going into our first sonogram, my husband and son waiting for me in the waiting room. The tech said “Kayla, it’s twins!” my jaw hit the floor. I called my mom instantly and she was over the moon happy. All of our family members were jumping for joy and I found myself sitting at my mother in laws table bawling my eyes out. Twins, 3 children wasn’t my plan but it was clearly God’s plan. The pregnancy seemed rather normal. I was still running my in-home daycare and feeling ok overall. We found out the twins were girls!

Then on September 23rd, 2018 at 21 weeks pregnant everything changed. I had caught a cold from one of my daycare kiddos and was feeling rather crappy. That morning I put Noah down for a nap and went to the washroom. When I wiped there was a TINY smear of pink blood. I called my midwife and told her. She wanted me to go in to make sure I didn’t have a bladder infection. I told her I didn’t want to go in and it was silly but I’d go if she really wanted me to. I checked into the triage and my midwife called up letting them know I was there. I sat there for 4hrs and was growing increasingly uncomfortable. I was having what I thought was Braxton Hicks. I called my midwife and told her the nurses hadn’t seen me yet and I was super uncomfortable. She was floored and called right up. The nurses told her they “forgot I was there”

I was rushed into the back where they did a urine test and called down for an ultrasound. I remember the nurse on the phone with my midwife saying “the urine is clean” and I instantly started crying. Something hit me and I KNEW this was labour. I started bawling my eyes out as I was finally wheeled to the ultrasound room. While getting the exam done I kept telling the tech I was having contractions. She kept telling me to relax and all would be fine. I stood up and BAM, my water broke. They called up to the Dr who was on service in the triage and she came down and confirmed my water broke. Through my tears I said “what’s going to happen to my daughters?” As she was wheeling me back up stairs she said “the babies will be born today & they will die” .... they will die. Tears still swell in my eyes when I speak those words. When I got back upstairs my mother in law, sisters in law, husband and midwife were already there. Everyone surrounding me, crying. They began asking the Dr “what do we do? What can we do?” Again, she told them “there is nothing that can be done, the twins will be born today and they will die” the way she spoke was so cold and so matter of fact. My sister in law kept telling me “we need to pray” and I remember blurting out “I will not pray, I am angry, I am angry with my God. How can He allow this?” Little did I know, He was just starting this beautiful story. We all began to work on trying to find out who would help us, which hospital would help us. We found out London, ontario intervened at 24 weeks. We begged the Dr to call London and see if they would consider seeing me and she denied our request. I asked for pain medication and she told me “this is going to be quick, let’s get it over with” I decided to pray, to tell God I was angry. All of the sudden after praying my contractions stopped. Just like that. After arguing with the Dr and my labour stopping she agreed to leave me be. She told me she wouldn’t let me see the twins or hear their heartbeats because it was a “waste of time” I was then moved to a regular room to rest.

The next morning the high risk OB came into my room. He told me all the risks if I didn’t deliver the twins. Baby A (who is Luna) feet were touchable. He told me I could die and it was pointless to try and keep the twins because no surrounding hospital would help until at least 23 weeks (London) He told me he wouldn’t call London to even ask unless I made it to 23 weeks which he didn’t have faith I would. I told him I refused to start labour again and as long as the twins are in me they are breathing and safe. He also denied me medication that would help the twins lung and brain develop. I laid in the hospital bed with on and off labour for 4 days. I couldn’t get up to pee or move because every time I did baby A would come out a little more. I spent those 4 days in the hospital BEGGING them to call London (refused every single time) begging them for the medication (denied every single time) I laid there crying, praying and crying some more. Then September 27 full labour began again at 22.2 weeks.

This time things were a little different. A new Dr came in and said “I read your chart and I know your desire is to try and save your daughters. I will call around and find a hospital who’s willing to help. Get this mother the medication she needs” Within 30 minutes he was back in my room, coat on and told London had agreed to take me. I was in the ambulance speeding down the 401 in labour, praying to God I made it in time.

Stay tuned for how our lives changed once we arrived in London.


©2019 by Imperfect Motherhood. Proudly created with

This site was designed with the
website builder. Create your website today.
Start Now